Increasing the Love

   Marriage is a cool situation, because it's a decision that two people make to give each other their families. They, their immediate and extended family all become one big family. How cool is that??

   Well, it can be cool, unless you don't get along with them. This is such an important step. Building a strong relationship (for us women) with our mother-in-law is crucial. She has the ability to tell us things about our husbands that we probably wouldn't know for years.

   If you are an engaged couple, I would strongly suggest having a sit down conversation with your fiance's mother. The stories she tells you about how she parented him, taught him, disciplined him, and helped him will teach you so much about your future spouse. Not only about the habits he may have in the future, but the childhood and leadership he had within the home.

   When I met my fiance's family, his mother told me so many things I hadn't known previously. The only way she could cure his migraines, the ways she got him to listen to her, and do what she said, etc. Man was that enlightening! I never knew the importance of being in a close relationship with my in-laws.

   “Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God” (Ruth 1:16).

   I love that this quote from the scriptures says "thy people shall be my people." It is important that we put aside any differences with the other family or parents, and love them. Love them because you love your husband or wife. They are their people, and they want you to love them as much as they do. 

   As you experience this transition and gain so many extra siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. you will come to know of the true joy the family is.

To find out more about what I believe:

lds.org

mormon.org

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/building-good-in-law-relationships?lang=eng

Beware of Pride

   As I studied about counseling as spouses and couples, "beware of pride" was stuck in my head. Really the majority of stubbornness, and inability to see eye to eye comes from this. A prideful heart can be difficult to overcome, but not impossible. 

   https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng

   Just as the stories in the Book of Mormon explain that the pride of the peoples hearts destroyed them, it is similar within a marriage. Those who cannot speak, council, and UNDERSTAND each other are bound to struggle. An open mind is essential within a relationship.

  "Behold, are ye stripped of pride? I say unto you, if ye are not ye are not prepared to meet God. Behold ye must prepare quickly; for the kingdom of heaven is soon at hand, and such an one hath not eternal life." (Alma 5:28)

   I have struggled with this topic at times, as I am sure most people have. Sometimes it can be hard to see another persons point of view, especially when things aren't going your way. Please, council together, speak together, pray together, and remember what is so important, and why you are doing what you are. These things will help overcome any obstacle placed in your path.

To find out more about what I believe:

lds.org

mormon.org

Fielity Within the Bonds of Marriage

We live in a world full of dishonesty, one night stands, and free-for-all's. It is a rarity for people to wait for marriage to be intimate with someone. That is the way God intended sexual relations to be, between a husband and wife.

 

   Definition of Fidelity (n.): faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. (Taken from dictionary.com)

 

   The traditional bonds of marriage are something that can't be compromised. Getting to share special moments, knowing you have someone by your side, and always having your spouse to work things out with you. In this day and age, it is becoming more popular to skip that whole step, and just continue on as if a couple is married, even when they are not.

 

   Intimacy is not disgusting, sinful, or wrong within the bonds of marriage. It is a gift from God, and it gives us the ability to reproduce, and reap the benefits of bringing children into this life. What a better way to bond than to start a family with the person you love?

 

   I am so excited to turn the love I have for my fiance into an eternal bond through marital covenants. I have been waiting to find my prince charming, and he has come. When I marry him in the temple this summer, that fidelity and 100% trust in each other will be strengthened even more. I know marriage can be difficult, and temptations will arise, because the world is filled with filth.

 

    I know as I stay faithful to my husband, we will both feel an exceedingly great amount of joy, inexplicable to those who choose not to be bound to the one person they want to spend eternity with.

 

 

To find out more about what I believe:

 

lds.org 

Charity Within a Marriage

  Charity is the pure love of Christ. It's that simple. There are so many people in this world who do not know what that love feels like, because they don't know it exists. It is our job as saints to bring that to their knowledge.

 

   On the other hand, charity plays a big role in marriage.

 

   In Moroni 7:46-47, it says: "Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--- But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him"

 

   I believe that charity is a sacred and heavenly gift that can be attained by righteous living, and a change of heart. Serving our spouse should bring us great joy. Seeing them smile, knowing they appreciate what we do for them, and loving every minute of it. With serving eachother, a marriage is easily equally yolked. If both husband and wife choose to go above and beyond to serve one another, things are likely to be less contentious. 

 

   There have been many times where I feel defeated. Either making my fiance dinner, and him having to stay at work hours later than planned, only to come home to a cold meal, or even just never feeling like I do enough. I know I put great effort into what I do, but sometimes I feel like I could be doing better. The saying "it's the thought that counts" is something that has rattled around in my mind for quite some time. When we feel defeated, this is something to remember.

 

   In conclusion, I would just like to say that charity is important. As we open our hearts toward Christ, and let his influence guide our path, we will seek a much higher standard of life. Even little acts of kindness and charity within a marriage can work wonders. Offering a piece of gum, opening the car door, putting the toilet seat down, or even leaving your wife a flower on her night stand (extra points for that). All of these simple acts can lead to a healthy relationship that does not require any "I owe you's".

Importance of Consecration

   The law of consecration is one that is a key to our happiness. The strength it can give a person is impeccable. One of the things I really studied out this week was how this affects a marriage. 

   On lds.org I found a lesson that explains this topic very well (found below)

https://www.lds.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-14-the-law-of-consecration?lang=eng

   In a book written by H. Wallace Goddard, he states that "while many of us tentatively experiment with trusting God, He waits patiently. He will answer every experiement with the same result: love, joy and peace are the fruits of trusting Him."

   A marriage is something that should be a three way street. Heavenly Father is needed for a successful, happy temple marriage. He waits patiently for us to come back to Him when we are lead astray, and is always greeted with open arms. He wants a temple marriage to succeed, because we are His children and He wants to see us reap the full benefits of His gospel established on the earth, and throughout the eternities. It is a plan of happiness. By setting our needs aside, and taking the Lords hand in everything we do, this will help us discover a more godly love. You will see your attitude toward life, people, and terrible situations shift.

   Over the last few years I have been really making it a point to find my testimony. As I learned about the law of consecration in depth, I put it into action. I watched my life slowly shift. There were many times when I would normally be stressed, short tempered, or moody because of a situation, but instead, I reacted with love and kindness. If all married couples changed the way they thought and did things, what would the world be like? Would marriages be happier and more successful? I believe so.

  It is imporant to give 100% in your marriage. To go above and beyond in the eyes of your partner. When your husband has had a long day at work, do something special to show him you care. Your all is what makes it work. Giving yourself, and shifting your priorities for the better. I know that humility is so important, and it can mold a marriage into something wonderful.

  Our time and our talents are needed within a marriage. As we bring Christ nearer to us, we are learning to put our needs second among our spouse, children, and other people we associate with on a daily basis. I know that this is such an important step toward becoming a more godly person. Each of us are striving for perfection. There should be no room for mediocrity. Bringing God into a marriage, and trusting Him, you will discover that your love for your spouse will grow, and you will see your life in a different light. 

To find out more about what I believe:

lds.org

Prideful hearts

   Pride is an issue that is very common in society today. People ignoring others opinions due to the "I know better than you" syndrome. The definition of pride found in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is "a feeling that you are more important or better than other people." How do you think pride can effect a married couple? When a spouse thinks they are better, more hard working, or determined than the other. How can love survive in an environment like that? Well, the answer is simple: it can't. 

   Marriage is a delicate thing, and needs to be treated as such. Pride is a tool used to ruin relationships both inside and outside of marriage. One of the most important things my parents have taught me in my own life is the importance of guidance by the spirit. As I have grown up, it has been something focused on quite often when teaching us skills we must know. It was always their first priority to always be receiving guidance and revelation for our family. Moving from a newly remodeled dream home in California, to a smaller home in Utah for several years, knowing when to help others and teach us children what service really was about, and so much more. They have always been very open about their feelings with the Lord, and with us. As I grew older, I realized the importance of this topic, and the strength it has brought my family. 

   In a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson called "Beware of Pride", he states that "the proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Helaman 12:6) They pit their perceptions of truth against God's great knowledge, their abilities versus God's priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works."

   A prideful spouse can rob you of blessings that come from guidance by the spirit. If you did not have the chance to have witnessed these blessings previously, I challenge you to choose now to become a transitional character in your family tree, and make it a hallmark to set aside your pride and let the spirit guide. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ a heart can be changed for the better, and long lasting marriages can come from a relationship centered around Christ.

Scriptures on this topic:

Philippians 2:21

2 Nephi 24:13

Doctrine and Covenants 3:6-7

Doctrine and Covenants 30:1-2

1 Nephi 8:19-28

To find out more about what I believe:

lds.org

mormon.org

Facing the Right Direction

 One of the most important things we can do is face the partner we are married to. It is a necessity for a marriage to succeed. A couple is joined as one, and must communicate as one as well. It is so important for them to lean on each other, and be one in spirit. Many times when stress comes, this is the first thing that is altered. Being "too busy" leads to the feelings such as "I can do this alone" or "I can handle this without you". This is something that needs to be avoided. When afflictions and pains come, that is when a couple must become even closer. I love the book written by H. Wallace Goddard called "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage". The book talks about the spiritual aspects of a marriage, which is ultimately the most important element. Goddard talks about replacing evil with goodness, and explains a story about Jesus Christ. The ultimate message was saying that it takes strong faith to remove doubt, sadness, and pain. It also takes strong faith to make a marriage successful. I have seen many people whom I consider role models in my life really grasp these elements and extend beyond them. People I have met are just beaming with faith, kindness, and a peaceful heart. It makes me feel as if I have a chance to be that way someday. In many cases, that peaceful heart comes from trials within a marriage. I hope to become that way someday. By turning toward my husband, trusting his faith and having my own, we can conquer the most destructive storms in life.

To find out more about what I believe:

lds.org