Comparing our society today to 60+ years ago, it is evident that the standards of the world as a whole have become seen as more of a burden, rather than a blessing. All over the media we find parents divorcing, babies being born out of wedlock, spouses being unfaithful, children stuck between families, and those "dramas" are all available at the touch of a few buttons while sitting on our couch at home. These situations have become the norm in our society and it's terrifying. There is an underlying principal that has been altered. It has gone from "I will do anything to make my spouse feel loved, heard, and comfortable so our marriage can stay healthy" to "I'm not happy anymore so I think a divorce would be the best option for us." A marriage is a sacred ordinance that must be cherished, nurtured, and brought back to a healthy state.
Many people today are raised in similar situations. Homes full of contention, heart ache, and both mental and sometimes physical abuse. These situations are hard to overcome, and no child should have to be put through such a thing. It is the result of the parents mistakes. So how can the child overcome this burden they were born into? These situations do not force a person to follow the footsteps of their parents in their future homes. By guidance by the spirit, those trials can be overcome both within the home, and when starting their own family.
In a book written in the 1980's called "Marriage and the Family" written by Carlfred Broderick (professor of sociology, University of Southern California), the original definition of a transitional character is given: "A transitional character is one who in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage. The individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it to their children.They break the mold. They refute the observations that 'the sins of the fathers are visited upon the heads of the children to the third and fourth generation.' Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own lineage so that the generations downstream will have supportive foundations upon which to build productive lives."
Looking back into history, I have come to realize that so many people have taken the role of being a transition in their lineage upon themselves, and changed the path of their ancestors. Multiple examples we can learn from are found in the scriptures. In 2 Nephi 2:1-2, it explains how Jacobs father Lehi taught him to take his "suffered afflictions and much sorrow", trust in the Lord, and he will turn his afflictions to gain. In Abraham 1:4-5 it also describes how the fathers of Abraham "turned from their righteousness, and from the holy commandments which the Lord their God had given unto them" and he took it upon himself to be righteous and change the course of his Priesthood line.
Not only are transitional characters found in the scriptures, they are found in many homes today as well. For example, both of my own parents were raised in homes filled with contention. Both my father and mother decided as they grew up that they were not going to have families like their own. As they picked up on things they knew they wanted to stay away from, that is exactly what they did. By taking the example of the parents and grandparents of the home they were raised in, the ideal family in mind had been created. When a husband and wife are married, they have the opportunity for a clean slate. Coming up with new ideas for success and strategizing how to make an eternal relationship eternally happy. These strategies have been noticed in my own home. My mother and father decided to have a home where the spirit would always reside, a safe haven if you will. The contention was minimal, and we laughed and spent time together as a family constantly. Looking back on my life, some of the best memories I have have come from within the walls of my childhood home.
The relationship between a husband and wife is Godly. It is a relationship between three people, rather than two. Heavenly Father plays a direct role in the marriage between a husband and wife. He is the central part of making a healthy marriage. If a couple makes Him that central part of their married life, the transition in the family line will seem a lot more attainable. One of my favorite quotes comes from a talk given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks: " A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection."
Links to learn more about my beliefs on marriage and family:
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