Charity is the pure love of Christ. It's that simple. There are so many people in this world who do not know what that love feels like, because they don't know it exists. It is our job as saints to bring that to their knowledge.
On the other hand, charity plays a big role in marriage.
In Moroni 7:46-47, it says: "Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--- But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him"
I believe that charity is a sacred and heavenly gift that can be attained by righteous living, and a change of heart. Serving our spouse should bring us great joy. Seeing them smile, knowing they appreciate what we do for them, and loving every minute of it. With serving eachother, a marriage is easily equally yolked. If both husband and wife choose to go above and beyond to serve one another, things are likely to be less contentious.
There have been many times where I feel defeated. Either making my fiance dinner, and him having to stay at work hours later than planned, only to come home to a cold meal, or even just never feeling like I do enough. I know I put great effort into what I do, but sometimes I feel like I could be doing better. The saying "it's the thought that counts" is something that has rattled around in my mind for quite some time. When we feel defeated, this is something to remember.
In conclusion, I would just like to say that charity is important. As we open our hearts toward Christ, and let his influence guide our path, we will seek a much higher standard of life. Even little acts of kindness and charity within a marriage can work wonders. Offering a piece of gum, opening the car door, putting the toilet seat down, or even leaving your wife a flower on her night stand (extra points for that). All of these simple acts can lead to a healthy relationship that does not require any "I owe you's".
The law of consecration is one that is a key to our happiness. The strength it can give a person is impeccable. One of the things I really studied out this week was how this affects a marriage.
On lds.org I found a lesson that explains this topic very well (found below)
In a book written by H. Wallace Goddard, he states that "while many of us tentatively experiment with trusting God, He waits patiently. He will answer every experiement with the same result: love, joy and peace are the fruits of trusting Him."
A marriage is something that should be a three way street. Heavenly Father is needed for a successful, happy temple marriage. He waits patiently for us to come back to Him when we are lead astray, and is always greeted with open arms. He wants a temple marriage to succeed, because we are His children and He wants to see us reap the full benefits of His gospel established on the earth, and throughout the eternities. It is a plan of happiness. By setting our needs aside, and taking the Lords hand in everything we do, this will help us discover a more godly love. You will see your attitude toward life, people, and terrible situations shift.
Over the last few years I have been really making it a point to find my testimony. As I learned about the law of consecration in depth, I put it into action. I watched my life slowly shift. There were many times when I would normally be stressed, short tempered, or moody because of a situation, but instead, I reacted with love and kindness. If all married couples changed the way they thought and did things, what would the world be like? Would marriages be happier and more successful? I believe so.
It is imporant to give 100% in your marriage. To go above and beyond in the eyes of your partner. When your husband has had a long day at work, do something special to show him you care. Your all is what makes it work. Giving yourself, and shifting your priorities for the better. I know that humility is so important, and it can mold a marriage into something wonderful.
Our time and our talents are needed within a marriage. As we bring Christ nearer to us, we are learning to put our needs second among our spouse, children, and other people we associate with on a daily basis. I know that this is such an important step toward becoming a more godly person. Each of us are striving for perfection. There should be no room for mediocrity. Bringing God into a marriage, and trusting Him, you will discover that your love for your spouse will grow, and you will see your life in a different light.
Pride is an issue that is very common in society today. People ignoring others opinions due to the "I know better than you" syndrome. The definition of pride found in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is "a feeling that you are more important or better than other people." How do you think pride can effect a married couple? When a spouse thinks they are better, more hard working, or determined than the other. How can love survive in an environment like that? Well, the answer is simple: it can't.
Marriage is a delicate thing, and needs to be treated as such. Pride is a tool used to ruin relationships both inside and outside of marriage. One of the most important things my parents have taught me in my own life is the importance of guidance by the spirit. As I have grown up, it has been something focused on quite often when teaching us skills we must know. It was always their first priority to always be receiving guidance and revelation for our family. Moving from a newly remodeled dream home in California, to a smaller home in Utah for several years, knowing when to help others and teach us children what service really was about, and so much more. They have always been very open about their feelings with the Lord, and with us. As I grew older, I realized the importance of this topic, and the strength it has brought my family.
In a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson called "Beware of Pride", he states that "the proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Helaman 12:6) They pit their perceptions of truth against God's great knowledge, their abilities versus God's priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works."
A prideful spouse can rob you of blessings that come from guidance by the spirit. If you did not have the chance to have witnessed these blessings previously, I challenge you to choose now to become a transitional character in your family tree, and make it a hallmark to set aside your pride and let the spirit guide. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ a heart can be changed for the better, and long lasting marriages can come from a relationship centered around Christ.
One of the most important things we can do is face the partner we
are married to. It is a necessity for a marriage to succeed. A couple is joined
as one, and must communicate as one as well. It is so important for them to
lean on each other, and be one in spirit. Many times when stress comes, this is
the first thing that is altered. Being "too busy" leads to the
feelings such as "I can do this alone" or "I can handle this
without you". This is something that needs to be avoided. When afflictions
and pains come, that is when a couple must become even closer. I love the book
written by H. Wallace Goddard called "Drawing Heaven Into Your
Marriage". The book talks about the spiritual aspects of a marriage, which
is ultimately the most important element. Goddard talks about replacing evil
with goodness, and explains a story about Jesus Christ. The ultimate message
was saying that it takes strong faith to remove doubt, sadness, and pain. It
also takes strong faith to make a marriage successful. I have seen many people
whom I consider role models in my life really grasp these elements and extend
beyond them. People I have met are just beaming with faith, kindness, and a
peaceful heart. It makes me feel as if I have a chance to be that way someday.
In many cases, that peaceful heart comes from trials within a marriage. I hope
to become that way someday. By turning toward my husband, trusting his faith
and having my own, we can conquer the most destructive storms in life.
As I have studied different tactics on how to go about forming a strong marriage, a few things have
stuck out like a sore thumb. One of the absolute most important things to do in a marriage is nurture the fondness and admiration you have for one another. When life gets hectic, (and believe me, it does) those moments when you first met, first held hands, first kissed, etc. are going to pull you out of that phase of frustration, and realize the value of your partner. With a change of heart, patience, love, and happiness will be a hallmark in your marriage.
Now, I tend to use my parents as examples quite often,but it is because I look up to them and would someday like to model my marriage similar to theirs. As I grew up in a home filled with love, charity, forgiveness, and service, I had an ideal setting to build a strong foundation. I learned what works in a successful relationship. Many times my parents would go on dates together, laugh at jokes from years past, talk about that coworker that my dad witnessed get taped to an office chair and pushed into an elevator, and just talking casually about things they could be improving on both together and personally. These attributes I have found in my parents marriage, have been very similar to what I have studied.
A marriage does not work if one spouse is only giving 50%. An equally yolked relationship that is continuously strengthened through communication is the answer to success. Speak with one another, study together, pray together, strengthen those bonds whenever possible. Experiencing sacrifice and faith is the glue of morality. These principles can be implemented not only in a marital setting, but in relationships with family members as well. As we continue to communicate with one another, bonds will become more prevalent. I have seen these things in my own personal life, and I can truly testify of the strength and peace it can bring not only a married couple, but a family.
Marriage is a delicate gift. It
can be very difficult at times to create a harmonious balance between couples.
This week I focused quite a bit on really studying the behaviors of both
successful and unsuccessful marriages, and why things went haywire. My eyes
were opened as I realized how my own parents have followed many of the steps to
a successful marriage without realizing what they were doing. Throughout my
life they have somehow nurtured a healthy relationship. How did they do this
you may ask? It is simple.
In a book called "The Seven Principles for
Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman, it speaks a lot about how the
foundation of a healthy, thriving relationship is based on the friendship of
the couple. A couple that takes time to laugh together, go on dates together,
play with the kids together, plan, speak, study, and pray together. As I have
worked on strengthening the relationships in my own life, I have depended on
the core friendship, and built off of that. I have learned so much as I
evaluate my situations and act accordingly.
When I was young, I would see my parents have disagreements, but they would always end up resolving the conflict, whether they went somewhere private and had a reasonable discussion, or they just ended up laughing and breaking the tension. When that friendship is strong, it will result in a beautiful, harmonious marriage. It is my goal to take the things I have learned from my own parents and carry it into the relationships I have in the future.
Relationships between loved ones are essential
for our happiness. I know that strengthening the bonds of marriage can come
from communication and trust. These two principles are the key to a successful
love story. Love your best friend. Cherish them, and focus on their needs. As
they do the same for you, the beautiful, delicate marriage will bloom.
Raising children in a home immersed in love, kindness, and charity is one of our most difficult, yet essential responsibilities in this life. Teaching them the importance of the gospel, and their role in Heavenly Fathers plan is not something that should be taken lightly. As the future generation develops and retains information, they must have the knowledge that the gospel will be a blessing in their lives. It will allow peace, happiness, and strength in discovering the role they play in this life.
Having parents who were bound by covenants in the temple brings a family many priceless blessings. Bringing up children who know of the sacredness and importance of these covenants will help them know of the love our Heavenly Father has for each of us. The significance of the holy temple can be taught through the guidance of the spirit, so the children are able to fully grasp this concept. It is so important to bring up the future generation knowing they are sealed to their family for eternity. This will bring great comfort in the future.
Not only should children be taught the importance of the temple, but should be shown. Speaking reverently of the sacred ordinances, walking the grounds of the temple while singing primary hymns, placing pictures of the beautiful holy buildings on the walls of the home as a constant reminder, and helping them see the blessings that have been obtained in their own families will really help them gain a better understanding of its importance. In a message from the First Presidency called “What I Hope You Would Teach Your Children about the Temple”, it says that “the temple is an ever-present reminder that God intends the family to be eternal. How fitting it is for mothers and fathers to point to the temple and say to their children, ‘This is the place where we were married for eternity.’ By so doing, the ideal of temple marriage can be instilled within the minds and hearts of your children while very young.”
The marriage between a husband and wife is sacred. Children should know that each parent has a divine role in making their marriage one that is filled with love and strength. Having a father that cherishes his priesthood power, and searches for opportunities to bless his family is vital. Being the patriarch of the home, and holding those priesthood keys will bring sacred blessings that are only attained by using that priesthood power regularly. As children in the home know of the blessings given to their family because of the father’s righteousness, they will have the desire to either follow in their father’s footsteps, or strive to be worthy of a husband who can bring these blessings in their future homes.
In an Ensign article given by Elder Bruce C. Hafen called “Covenant Marriage”, he says this: “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; Covenant companions each give 100 percent.”
If each spouse is 100 percent honest, faithful, loving, and devoted in their marriage, working together to raise a family in the gospel will be a joyous experience. A husband and wife must depend on each other for strength. A conference report given by President Joseph Fielding Smith, called “The Fullness of the Priesthood”, states that “There is nothing in all this world as important to each of us as putting first in our lives the things of God’s kingdom, as keeping the commandments, as magnifying our callings in the priesthood, as going to the house of the Lord and being offered the fullness of the blessings of our Father’s kingdom.”
As we all strive now and in the future to raise children to know of the importance of these sacred principles, blessings will come. Our Heavenly Father has given us all of the tools necessary to teach our children how to navigate their way through this world drenched in sin. Having a home that acts as an escape from the world is crucial. By speaking kindly, praying regularly, and keeping any worldly filth out of the walls of our personal homes, we will receive peace and everlasting joy throughout our lives here on earth.
